note to self 07

Dear you,

 

You know what you should do.
You know your strengths, you know your flaws.

You know, all too well, that you have a tendency to cling on too much, to give too much to the people you value.

You have to take a step back every once in a while.

They are not collector’s edition artifacts that you can keep to yourself.
They are human.

I know you hang out with these people because they give you joy you can’t find within yourself.

Maybe that’s where you should begin.
Learn how to be happy with yourself, for starters.

Then you’d learn how to live without depending, without needing to be around other people to make yourself happy. You could leave the place without feeling as if you left a part of yourself you can’t recover.

Growing up, growing tired.

It’s almost 12:30 in the morning and I’m taking a short break from writing the review of related literature for my proposal, which was due two weeks ago (I’m surprised my adviser hasn’t emailed me about how overdue this chapter is. Haha). I’m not as motivated as I want to be so I’ve been doing what pushed me, what helped me survive freshman year — I listen to Christmas songs. Continue reading “Growing up, growing tired.”

Dear Adults*

How do you find the motivation to finish things? People on the internet (and plenty of students) say that the deadline is the greatest motivation of all but it seems like I’ve grown apathetic towards it. Although, since you’re probably getting paid by whoever it is you’re working for, it’s relatively easier to get things done. Maybe.

I’m a senior college student and although science says that a person’s brain should have already developed its capability to be logical, rational, and good at decision-making by the time they have reached the ripe old age of eighteen, my brain hasn’t quite… fully-developed this capability. I mean, I can make rational decisions but I’m still heavily impulsive. Continue reading “Dear Adults*”

Miniscule

Every weekend, I’d take a mental note of all the things that need to be done over the following days. Sometimes, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. When I do, I start becoming all anxious and worried; afterward, I’d become petrified by the tasks. Not today, though. Instead of becoming petrified by my responsibilities, I took a metaphorical step back and analyzed and realized that I’m nothing but a tiny part of the world, of the galaxy, of the universe.

Will it matter if I ace the exams this week?
Will it matter if I do my part on the class output?

In five years or so, will the things I do now matter then?

(I think it will because I’m not typically this insightful. I figure that, by that time, I wouldn’t think of myself as… tiny. Haha.)