Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.
I’m already a university student and I still think that this world is filled with good, kind, and friendly people who would soon, if not instantly, come talk to you if they’re your acquaintance or if they see you in a corner living up to your name as a wallflower. Foolishly, I’ve expected that most of the people in the university would be as accommodating as those of that in my high school.
The joke’s on me then.
News flash, self.
The world is filled with all sorts of people including the mean, insensitive, judgmental ones. I’ve seen and been with these kinds of people when I was younger but why am I only “absorbing” this now? After living for almost two decades? No, wait.
Actually, I’m not getting the hang of this fact quite yet; it’s just being slowly processed by my not-so-rusty brain.
I started to wonder – is it my fault for not letting the world’s bullshit get to me, that I didn’t let the negativity to crack my illusion of a harmless world? Was I not thinking realistically enough? Or is it my parents’ fault for making me move to my high school where students hug most of their classmates?
… This makes me look like I’ve gone to school with hippies. Haha.
Just kidding. I can’t blame my parents. It’s my fault, somehow, because I didn’t prepare myself for the things that the world could possibly throw at my face at a certain age, e.g. irritating snobs and rejection from professors. I didn’t even ask for this.
Why, life. WHY?
If this is life’s way of preparing me for the real world, then it should have given me a precautionary sign in a form of a dream or something so I wouldn’t be as frustrated, aggravated, agitated, and unmotivated as I am today. Seriously.
Have you ever had moments where your thoughts and ideas about a writing assignment, a project, or a blog post would pop in your head simultaneously that you can’t figure out how to clearly and properly put them into rational sentences and whatnot?
… Now I’m not so sure if my brain is too slow to process all these or too fast for the
“data” thoughts to be passed on and processed by the other parts of the brain.
I realized why I was lost. It’s not because I didn’t have a map… It was because I didn’t have a destination.
But I guess ultimately what scares me about marriage is where do you find this person? You know a lot of times, most successful relationships, people meet through work, school, mutual friends.
But what’s most interesting to me is when people just meet in life, just randomly.
You know, I have a friend, he got married, I asked him like “Hey, uh, where’d you meet your wife?” He was like “I was leaving Bed, Bath & Beyond. I was looking for my car – I drive a gray Prius. I saw a different gray Prius, I thought it was mine, I walked up to it, I realized I had the wrong car, but I bumped into Carol, we started talking, that was that”. That’s unbelievable.
Think about all the random factors that had to come together to make this one moment possible – this one moment that changed these two people’s entire lives:
First off, this guy has to live in this particular town. Then he has to get a gray Prius. Then he has to need to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then he has to go to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then there has to be another guy who also lives in town, also drives a gray Prius, also needs to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond, also goes to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond at around the same time. Then they have to both park somewhat near each other, my friend has to leave before the other guy leaves, see the wrong Prius, think it’s his, walk up to it. Then the woman, Carol, needs to be near the wrong gray Prius for a million other random reasons. They bump into each other, they start talking, their entire lives are changed.
That’s the most amazing and terrifying thing about life.
It is, because the amazing thing is that at any moment, any one of us can have that moment that totally changes our lives. You could be leaving the show tonight, bump into someone… It could change your life. You don’t know, that could happen.
The terrifying thing is… What if we’re all supposed to be at Bed Bath & Beyond right now?