Even if we were all famished and dead tired by midnight, I think we all had fun nonetheless.
I’m now part of a student organization! Yay.
It’s been tiring, it has made my schedule hectic, but it’s done. For now.
During the past week, I’ve spent a lot of time with people I haven’t met before. We got to know each other and stuff – something I (think) wouldn’t have been able to handle during the previous semester, a.k.a. The 2nd Part of the Dark Ages (where I’d be hella fidgety in relatively “new” situations). I’ve actually felt more like myself around these new people, compared to the previous people I’ve hung out with. There was no pressure. I was even singing so loud last night and I didn’t feel judged, whatsoever.
I was hesitant before joining, but now I’m sure I’ve made the right decision. You see, it’s been so long since I’ve felt like things “fit”.
It’s like finding something you didn’t think was missing.
Maybe this will be the “thing” that I’ll be looking for in this lifetime – people, moments, and choices that’ll make my life more complete than it already is.
(101% or something.)
… yeah, that isn’t absolutely true.
The thing about spoken words is that once they’re out, there’s no way to get them back in. The intangible thing you had in your head, that negative opinion, that stupid statement that you know will push buttons will become “real”. It’s like giving life to the monsters in your head.
You could have chosen to let that person have a good day but you didn’t.
Sure, you can apologize for what you’ve said, but how people will perceive you from then on will not be the same. Situations like these, sometimes, can even become irreparable.
What we sometimes forget to consider is that words have a greater impact on people’s lives.
Say one little thing and you might not even know that you’ve triggered something within the person you’re talking to. This thought, this seed, will continue to grow until it eventually consumes that person negatively or positively. Most of the time, we get overwhelmed by the former.
Think of your mind as a garden: once weeds start growing in it, you prune them. You keep these invasive things from getting what’s best for your plants so you’re not left with an unhealthy garden. We could do the same to our minds; we nip the degrading, the demeaning thoughts in the bud. The moment we feel that they’re going to become negative, we shouldn’t reinforce it.
It’s all about self control. It’s all about being considerate toward other people and ourselves. We’re all humans. We’re all made up of the same stuff, more or less. We’ve all done things some people don’t like. We’ve sinned one way or the other and that doesn’t put us in a position where we can throw out negative things to get back at them.
I know this kind of thinking could be deemed very innocent or something but it’s true, isn’t it?
It’s that simple.
Early in the day, your outgoing introvert would be active (more or less). They would be talkative, they might throw jokes around every now and then.
But when they lose their energy, you might see how their chirpiness will slowly fade away in their eyes.
If this happens in the middle of a group activity, you will notice how they will gradually stay quiet, reserving their remaining energy for the rest of the day.
Heck, if you’ve completely drained them out, they might not even talk so much anymore; occasional nods and mm-hms might be the only things you could elicit from them.
It doesn’t mean that we don’t want to talk to you all anymore though.
We just need to be with ourselves for a while.
I value my intuition almost as much as I value facts. If I know something is right, is meant to be, it clicks. I will feel fulfilled, motivated, and happy, most of all.
I won’t think twice about my decision, nor will I feel, in any way, negative about this “thing”.
Worrying won’t be much of a problem because there won’t really be any reason to.
Although I know that I should not think of giving up (i.e. shifting) every time we’re asked to do difficult things or activities I’m not really fond of doing, I still can’t help but feel that I’m not in the right field.
Our degree trains us to facilitate people (especially in developing countries) in the improvement of their lives in any possible way through communication. From what I’ve understood through the semesters, we simplify difficult-to-understand things for people, so they are not left uninformed. We seek out problems and try to come up with a solution for it.
(No, we’re not being trained to be teachers in the traditional sense, though.)
I’m all for the helping-the-people aspect of it, yes, but I don’t think I’m cut out to be a professional reporter (broadcaster?) or writer. I’m not saying that this is all there is to it but news writing is what we’re doing now and I have very little experience in journalism tbh. Can I go through this?
Go head on, straight ahead, and ignore the other way – the alternate route. The exit.
Or should I just go for it?* I’m going to end up where I’m supposed to be, anyway.