note to self 05

At least try before saying you can’t. Be open to possibilities.


When someone tells you that you deserve better, they are telling you to move on because they don’t care enough to be better. They will not put in the effort or energy they KNOW you deserve. I want to say it has nothing to do with you, because it is not your fault, but they will find someone who they deem important enough to BE better for. That person is not you and I’m sorry, that is shitty and horrible and I want to hug you because I’ve been there. They know you deserve better. But they are not going to be better. Listen.

I remember when I was younger and I wanted to be beautiful; now I’m older and I want to be intelligent. I want to burn hearts with brilliance and engulf souls with compassion. I want to be loved for my thoughts and nothing else.

When we were young they told us we could be whatever we wanted to be.

They never told us of the battles we would face
The scorn that would slice like swords.

Some dreamt of the stars, of the moon or the earth
I dreamt of the sun, of the rays of happiness to fill my soul
Instead I am night and the shards of darkness rip at my seams.

They told us we could be whatever we wanted to be, be whoever we wanted to be.
Well fuck them because they lied.

We can be whoever we settle to be // We never stood a chance (c.f)

I almost thanked you for
teaching me something about survival
back there,
but then I remembered
that the ocean never
handed me the gift of swimming.
I gave it to myself.

Y.Z, what I forgot to remember (via rustyvoices)